everyday in every way: October 2010

a.hole.

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way best (or good, for that matter) in making reviews for films, televison or what-have-you's. From time to time, it's just nice to give the world what I thought of things I experienced first-handedly myself. For the most part, this was just done for the fun of it. Enjoy! :)

See what the experts have to say

Yesterday, I found my mom rambling about this movie - 'The Hole', saying how scary it was, watching it in the middle of the night on their bedroom and how she needed to stop watching it because THAT'S HOW SCARY IT WAS. For someone who thought that The Fourth Kind wasn't disturbing at all, I figured that maybe she has this high standard when it comes to HORROR AND SUSPENSE FILMS.

So, as you might have realized, yes, I tried the movie. And was even eager to watch it (let's downsize my feelings a bit), since it's been a long while since my last movie-watching. And to be honest, the film got me glued the first few minutes (or seconds) of it.

The movie started with a family - a mom and his 2 sons, moving in a new town. The film showed how broken they were as a family - literally and figuratively and how disbonded they've been through the years. The film featured the estranged eldest son, being too hard on his mother and esp. younger brother; the hard-working mom who loves her sons deeply; and the youngest son who is just playful, cute and sweet. The two sons, as most brothers, or simblings, just do not get along well with each other (maybe considering of course, their age gap). The film also featured their newly-knit friendship with their new neighbor - Daphne (who is by the way, hot and whose looks reminded me a lot about Taylor Swift). Eventually, these friends find a bottomless hole on the basement, and that's where all their adventures started.

Seriously, that gist I just wrote was awful. HAHA. Forgive me, I just want this review to be plain and short (and I just don't want to spill out all the horrific details of the movie).

Anyhoo, I have mixed emotions when it comes to this movie. Initially, as I have mentioned earlier (or not), the movie caught my attention on its first parts - even found myself holding my breath and getting thrilled on some of the scenes. But, I honestly think they could've gotten away with that "moving family" plot. I mean, come on! Almost half of the horror films I've been seeing lately involves a 'broken' family, trying to have a brand new start and take on life. So yes, this early on this review, I must say, that's just how bad it was, not to mention those super cliche horror film scenes - like a clown scaring a boy; blood-dripping-on-face girl scaring people; crazy person who used to own the house - that I know everyone tires of already. So at the middle of the film, I just found myself trying my best to finish it, hoping that at least one scene will make my movie-watching delightful. Simply put, until the end, I found none.

It was just a mess for me (that's just me) - from the plot, subplots, to the actors (I must say, though, that the little boy who played Lucas was the best among the cast), to the backstory, effects, set design - everything. Let's just say that the whole film's core was "ghosts of a person's past". And towards the end of the movie, I think it has given me that 'Jumanji' kind of feel; you know - where every cast has the opportunity to take part of some game and play it, although in this film, it wasn't a game, it was a person's greatest fear (and Jumanji's a far better and more enjoyable movie).

So there, as you might have guessed, the conclusion will have to be: NOT RECOMMENDED. It was just a total flop for me. Not even a dime's worth.

Oh well, so much for breaking my movie-watching hiatus. Sigh.

Frustrations

For almost a year now, I've been eyeing this one particular camera and promised myself that before the year ends, I should own one already. But, come 2 months before year-end, I still think I cannot have one yet. So, I adjusted my deadline for myself. So, 'why not make it January since it'll be your birthday?' I asked myself, but thinking of it now, I don't think I can still have it by then. Poor me.

If I'd be upgrading to a DSLR, definitely it'll have to be a Panasonic or Olympus.

So for 2 weeks now, I've been finding myself browsing review after review, blogs of prices and sample images of DSLRs and pro-sumer cameras. After days of pure hard work, at least I've narrowed it down to 2 camera brands. HAHA

This thus only translates to more working hours and saving. Geez, I really have to save up more to get one of these!

Skype-ing through the night.

Wow. I feel like it has been a long time since the last one. Finally, I am officially back on my part-time job. :) In all fairness, teaching English to Japanese has always been fun. I've always enjoyed it but somehow, I feel this giddiness. 'First day high'? Probably. I should shake off my nerves, though. In about a few, I'll be having my first ever student for the night. Woohoo! :))

And I'm officially back as an RJ tutor. :))

Having to do something worthwhile is good. Oh, scratch that. It actually feels, GREAT! :))

It started with one thing, which led me to another thing that ended with a whole different thing

My day started unusually - or rather, just not the usual just because I'm actually doing something productive today. My friend and I have finally decided that it is time to make a jobstreet account to finally find somewhere to apply to if not to land us work. So, the constant clicking and searching and reading, led us to bestjobs and we before we knew it, we were browsing through interesting jobs that we can finally call ours.

And then it hit me. I suddenly thought of med school and browsed on CEM's site instead. I was initially excited to learn that the NMAT will be held this Dec.12th already because at last, my initial step to med school's nearing fulfillment. Showers of thoughts and dreams transpired through me - after long years of waiting, my childhood dream's almost within a hand's reach. At last, I'll be within the comforts of studying again. But, like all other daydreams, it was puffed into thin air the way a child blows his birthday candles away. All the fears and doubts started creeping in. My hopeful heart began to sink and my confidence and morale were gone amiss before I even had time to grab them. I now fully realize and admit that I am in fear of the days to come. I am scared of Med School and all about it.

For the longest time I was quite sure of what I wanted with life - with my life, that is. I have constantly painted and repainted what I wanted for my future and what career to pursue. I have always wanted to be a doctor. I have always been quite sure that I will enter med school and in 6 years' time will finally be of service to my fellowmen. But why am I shuddering about the thought now? Why do I feel like I am about to run from everything any minute I am obliged to face it? It is quite queer, I know. And even as I write this entry, I still feel every doubt scarring the whole of me. I feel so incompetent and unready. I don't feel fit to enter that vast world. I am fearing the next few steps and the life I'd be faced with once I get there.

I just feel that I will no longer be able to pursue all my plans. I have wanted to work while studying, to support myself, but after reading all blogs about med, of it being too difficult to handle, I started having second thoughts about myself too. What if I'm really not fitting for this kind of world? And then there's also the thought of "What will I do then, if I don't pursue medicine?". Having noticed that there are little job offers in my profession, I started to get scared of failure and the future, per se. And these little evil thoughts gave birth to another and another, and another until I can contain it no more.
*sigh.
I guess there is nothing easy on this world. Not one thing can be achieved in a snap. I have to work my way through to get the life I have been dreaming of for me, my family and my future family. There is no time to get scared of all the responsibilities and hardships. After all, I've been facing quite a few and have came out better all the time. So maybe I just need to get a grip of myself and focus on my dreams. It is but stupid to throw away everything because of small, baseless fears. I have to try things first. And, if I'm really not for that kind of stuff, then that's the only time I have to rethink and invite other plans. That's the only time to change. For now, I have to re-focus and take things slowly, one at a time.

Every once in a while, it's nice to spill to the world
the thoughts I usually keep for myself.

Now that's enough for my thinking aloud.

Chocolates can not solely symbolize love. :))

After such a surly mood last night, I made up today with heavenly peace and all gleeful bashfulness one can all gather up in one morning. Haha Too melodramatic. Forgive me, I've been deeply compelled to Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights lately. So anyhoo, before I stork to another topic, let me share as to why a sudden turn of emotions. :)

Friends and acquaintances will surely agree that Sam and I are not the sweetest of couples - in the public eyes, at least. And maybe that has been the ultimate secret of our relationship. We keep things cool, relaxed, fun and without boundaries. That's how we've been. That's how we are. That's how we'll always be.

This morning, as we were exchanging text messages (as it is rare nowadays compared to how we used to before because of conflicting schedules), he happen to share a certain commercial which he cannot help but associate with me.

Coffee mate's latest commercial. :)

After watching it too, I fully understood his fussing about it. Apart from it being a short, cute ad, it is no doubt us. "We" are that couple. In more ways than one, it epitomizes us. :)

... and that made me feel so much loved.

... and that also made me miss him more. <3

GoodMorningWorld!

Yes. That's right. Good Morning! Just because I haven't eaten breakfast yet and obviously, I just woke up.
Oh well, this has been my newest lifestyle so far - wake up, eat, internet, internet, internet, eat again, internet, internet, internet, shower, read a book, call sam, sleep. Haha With a week of staying like this, I kind of memorized it already. Don't get me wrong, I'm not liking this AT ALL. My life has become cyclical and there's no thrill to it already. I miss having to deal with different situations and people; encountering problems that doesn't seem to have solutions at all; waking up knowing that today will definitely be different than yesterday because I'm going someplace I've never been to before. *sigh. All but memories.

I honestly do not know what to do next. I have been given contacts (to obviously contact), for work but up until now, I still haven't made up my mind. Aside from the pay, I'm also worrying about the start of those works - I know for sure all of it's about to start and I'm not sure I'm all ready to face new challenges again. Haha I know, I'm no longer making sense, but, the situation's really like this. I miss experiencing the world, but I still am not ready to experience it head on (as in with a job). I would just like to take things slowly for a bit. I felt like I rushed things so I ended up cringed in the end. I want to enjoy my time first. Take a rest and go out the world when I'm all ready. I don't want to experience this kind of stress again.

I need not stop - I just have to rest for awhile. Quitting and resting are two different things.

So maybe, I just need a little time - a little time for myself, to have a breather and experience life the way it should be experienced - not as fast paced as I used to experience it. A little "Me-time" is never bad. Experiencing post-college life isn't bad at all. After consoling myself and preparing for the things yet to come,then who knows, I might get ready for the world again; I might be ready to take this journey again one stride at a time.

Rants 003: Furiously agitated with Cere-freakin'-f*ck

Our salary's for pick-up.

GREAT. Just great. I just don't see the point, really. Why can't they just deposit it to my account so everybody can stay right where they want to be?! Hello, it's called TECHNOLOGY, people!

I'm freakishly disappointed! Gosh, this has already taken the toll out of me! The project's done ages ago but until now it's still consuming the hell out of me. I'm no longer part of you guys, for crying out loud! F*cking company. F*cking SV. F*cking Finance Dep't.

Not once EVER did you give justice to your project name. Buwisit.

Now you can clearly see why I needed that rest badly. Pff!

tra-la-la-la. what to do, what to do?

I'm loving the fact that I'm well rested now and can surf the net again, but, I don't feel real contented. I don't feel quite well. I can't seem to even entertain the thought that I'll be like this for quite a while. NO. This can't be happening. Thus, it's time for my first ever list.

Since this day marks the start of me being bum again, it is but right to plan things ahead. Yes, you heard me. For the nth time, I'll be planning the things I ought to do with my overflowing free time. I'm not only hoping to accomplish all these, I'm actually expecting. Ha! Oh well, here goes.

1. Read,read, read.

Oh yes, I better get those brain cells going again. I feel like I have been completely deprived of reading for the longest time. It's a good thing I still have 2 books to keep me company for the time being.

2. Exercise

And of course, I'm not planning to let the couch and computer to suck out all the youth in me. Oh please. I need to exercise to shred the excess fats. Yes. I have fats. Lots of 'em.

3. Watch tons of series