And the rainy season has officially started. Thank you Lord for an amazing day with friends over delicious food at a fine dining resto. I feel so blessed and lucky to have these people in my life right now. <3
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Remember this Dress? :)
And the rainy season has officially started. Thank you Lord for an amazing day with friends over delicious food at a fine dining resto. I feel so blessed and lucky to have these people in my life right now. <3
Recent food escapade
As people close to me would agree, I have such a knack for sweet stuff. Sweet gestures, sweet compliments, but most of all, sweet foods. Teehee :3
I
For the most part, this summer has been about experimenting in the kitchen and trying out new food places. Food never fails to give me that satisfaction. For today, my good friend Chass and I tried out this new pastry shop at ATC. I've been hearing a lot of people raving about it and I must say, what really caught my interest was the cutesy interior of the shop which, you all will find out upon scrolling down on this post.
We met up past lunch time this afternoon despite the heavy downpour. We both needed comforting and what better way to console each other's ails than through cupcakes? :) It took us around 30mins to find the place because a.) all I know is it's on the 2nd floor; b.) the guard we asked directions from misled us; and c.) it's been awhile since I last went to ATC so I no longer know how to maneuver through it (esp. now that Metro point mall also recently opened there). Lesson learned? When visiting a new place, never forget to look it up. Knowing how to specifically go there won't hurt. tsk tsk... Although being lost at a not-so-big mall seems stupid, through all the reasons provided and much more, I beg to differ. Haha So anyway, we found the place, and whoala! Vanilla Cupcake Bakery was everything I expected it to be and waaay more. ❤
I must say, the owner must have such an amazing taste when it comes to furniture. The interiors were really amazing. I'm sure all young girls and young-girls-at-heart out there once dreamt of a room with such a splash of pastel colors. It was really refreshing and relaxing. Now I know what it must have felt like to sit and have tea in a little princess' room. It really gave a vibe like that. 😊
Look, even its ceiling gives off a super girly vibe.❤
I
Every inch of the little shop was well thought of that one will find little cute trinkets like these in almost every corner. Cute, no? 😊
See, even their menu is soooo cute. I must say though, this has been the biggest menu I've gotten hold of. Hahaha
Here's another interesting piece. Can you catch a glimpse of the cute refrigerator? No? It's the pink one. Yep, pink fridge. What girl wouldn't want that? Heeeeee
I'd have to admit though, it was really difficult to choose from the assortment of cupcakes available. Everything just looks so delish!!! I tried picking out eccentric flavors but to no avail - almost everything is! Hahaha I was kind of really tempted to order out one of each. 😁
So in the end, Chass and I ended up with Blueberry Lemon, Vanilla Peach, and Luscious Salted Caramel on our girly plates. I just have to say though that it was really interesting to find out that the cutlery and chinaware they are serving their cupcakes with are really high-end. And by high-end, I meant European brand high-end. Yep, you heard that one right. It was no shocker therefore that one of the staff followed us outside when we decided to switch tables. She must've overheard the remark I made jokingly of how I'm real close to taking home everything in the store. Yep, everything's really that cute! 😊😁❤
And just wow, even the tiniest detail as in tea bags weren't left off un-cute (if that's even a word. Haha). Bawal ang pangit sa store na to. Who wouldn't be enticed with these colorful teas? Not to mention, it tastes amazing!!! One of my two favorite teas so far (the other one's from India). ❤ *insert whisper here* Oh and btw, I think y'all should know, these teas are from Paris. No wonder I felt so bongga in an instant. Haha😄
Read: It's okay to die of cuteness any minute now. I really fell in love with this teapot. Someday, mate, somedaaaaay!!! ❤
Ahhhh... What a better way to drown everything from problems to worries to as simple as rain than with a soothing cup of tea? It really went perfectly well with the sweet pastries we had for the afternoon.
Chass and the lovely corner table. It was definitely one of my favorite things on the shop.
My outfit's color ensemble matched the whole of the cuteness surrounding me. Notice though how interesting their chairs are. This is the gazebo area already, btw. It had a garden vibe to it complete with artificial grass, archways, fake grass and fences. It was totally adorable.
All in all, it has been such a wonderful day with this strong, beautiful and amazing woman. Nothing can be more perfect than an afternoon spent with a well-trusted confidante. Until next time, love! Here's to more years of dates and cupcakes to be shared! ❤❤❤
Mondays
And I say, let's grab the 'NOW' because the future's become more uncertain and today's all we have left.
Some ME time
It has been a long time since I last went out by myself. I guess the thought of being alone scared me more than being lonesome itself. And then I realized just now how I missed being by myself - not worrying about the world's complexities and just enjoying the 'now'.
Life has been messing up with me for the past couple of months that it has been so easy for me to lose sight of who I was and what I want to be here for. This week, I was reminded that no matter how shitty things have gone, not much has actually changed - I'm still here. And that should've meant something, right? I mean, if God wanted me out of this world, He should've just let me die during the shooting a couple of weeks ago, or could've caused some accident to annihilate me BUT HE DIDN'T. And I guess that should've accounted for something.
As cliche as it sounds, I know He doesn't give us problems we cannot handle. And as I was trying to look at the bigger picture, it isn't too late for me, after all. I can still be happier. I can still find the man of my dreams. I can still become a doctor. I can still pass all my subjects. I can still go to places I have always wanted to visit. I can still build myself into becoming a better person. I can still work on something in my life that my future self will thank me for. ☺
It hasn't been easy to be in this place I'm at right now. It took me months to stop with all of the crying and moping. I was on the verge of self-destruction. I wasn't myself - I was nobody, actually. I wanted myself dead. I thought I'd be doing the world a favor if I just disappeared. But then, just like what I said a couple of weeks ago, one will never know his strength until he is at his weakest. I was stripped away of the life I used to know and the only person I loved truly was suddenly taken from me. It was the lowest my life has been - well, it sure felt that way, if ever it really wasn't. Haha Well, my point here is, I just want to thank my friends and family for everything. I wouldn't have been able to surpass everything without their help. So, here goes...
I thank my MedSchool friends for all the support and help. You guys really never gave up on me even when I was doing so on myself. Thank you Steph and Jeanne for always listening and accompanying me just so I could focus and study. Thank you for all the advices and understanding. I know you may not have approved of all my decisions, but you guys were always there, giving me a hug or a spank whenever I needed one. hehe :) Thank you Melvin and Justin for always being there as well. I know I haven't been talking to you much lately but I have always felt your concern. I know you have always wanted to protect me from all the hurt but you just can't do anything about it. And for that, I thank you. Thank you Yen, Kath, Vivi and Jerro. You have always been there to listen and to make me smile during my lowest times. All the fun and great energy you provide me with is incomparable. I really needed that. You never failed to give me something happy to take home with me at the end of the day. Every passing day, I always had something to be thankful for because of you guys. And you don't know how much that means to me.
I want to thank my orgmates from UPTC for being so understanding and caring. You guys have always looked out for me since time immemorial. You were my second family and I still consider you so even after all these years. Thank you Gretchen and Janboyet. You know I love you and you are the people I'd give my life to if I have a chance. You were the epitome of true friends. We haven't been together as much as we used to but you never failed to make me feel your presence even if we already have different lives of our own. Whenever we meet, I feel like I'm in Elbi wherever we go. Haha Thank you for all the love and support you have and are currently giving. The four of us were the tightest of the cliques before, and now that it's only us three remaining, thank you for never leaving me on my own. I don't know how much I can thank you but there, I have given you a lot of thank you's for this post, haven't I? Haha Thank you Dre for all the wise words. You have always been the big brother I looked up to and you just always know the right words to say every single time. Thank you for all the understanding and for always being the bigger person for everyone concerned. I knew I could always count on you. And of course, thank you Chass for all the listening, understanding and care. We have been through a couple of major things together recently and it has been easier because of you. Thank you so much for everything. The recent events made me more closer to you than I have been during my whole stay in the University and I thank you for opening up the way you did. You're one of the few youngsters I truly love. And I know for sure, one day, we'd be happier. ♥
And of course I want to thank my long-time friends Kathy, Ivy, Hanny and Anne.. Kathy, I know we haven't been spending much time as we used to but it really meant a lot when you reached out and offered your support. I can't be more thankful for everything. We're miles apart but I swear, you never failed to make me feel the sincerity of your love and concern. I hope to see you soon. :). Ibedon, thank you so much for all the empowerment and wise words, you never made me feel like I, or the situation I'm at was judged. We haven't been spending that much time together but I'm really thankful for having a friend like you. I knew I can always count on you. :) Hanibunita! Oh my gosh, how can I ever thank you enough for all the love, support and fun? You have been my bestest friend since HNF41 days and I must say, we have come a long way from our College shopping sprees and endless conversations. I really am lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for always being there for me through all the good and the bad. Thank you for teaching me a lot of things and for always being a reminder that life should always be dealt with smile and composure. We have just been through a lot that I know I wouldn't be the person I am now today if it weren't for you. Bola-ish but true. Hehe :))) And of course, Anne Krista, thank you so much for all the love, support and friendship. We haven't seen each other for literally years but you have always been there. You're still here, giving me support and you just don't know how much you helped me during those times when I was at my lowest. The daily conversations really helped me more than anything. Thank goodness for technology as I can converse with you even if you're already in Auz! I never thought that our friendship could've endured all those years. And I say we have become closer than we were when you were still here. I swear one day, I'd be able to visit you there. You are one of those friends I am lucky I am able to keep. Thank you for everything ☺
I'm not saying I'm past everything but because of you, I have come to see things at a different light. Because of all your care and support, I'm in a better place. And most importantly, because of all your love, I'm no longer afraid. I now realize that I need not be afraid for I am not alone. I am being given love more than my two hands can ever clasp.
As cliche as it sounds, I know He doesn't give us problems we cannot handle. And as I was trying to look at the bigger picture, it isn't too late for me, after all. I can still be happier. I can still find the man of my dreams. I can still become a doctor. I can still pass all my subjects. I can still go to places I have always wanted to visit. I can still build myself into becoming a better person. I can still work on something in my life that my future self will thank me for. ☺
It hasn't been easy to be in this place I'm at right now. It took me months to stop with all of the crying and moping. I was on the verge of self-destruction. I wasn't myself - I was nobody, actually. I wanted myself dead. I thought I'd be doing the world a favor if I just disappeared. But then, just like what I said a couple of weeks ago, one will never know his strength until he is at his weakest. I was stripped away of the life I used to know and the only person I loved truly was suddenly taken from me. It was the lowest my life has been - well, it sure felt that way, if ever it really wasn't. Haha Well, my point here is, I just want to thank my friends and family for everything. I wouldn't have been able to surpass everything without their help. So, here goes...
I want to thank my orgmates from UPTC for being so understanding and caring. You guys have always looked out for me since time immemorial. You were my second family and I still consider you so even after all these years. Thank you Gretchen and Janboyet. You know I love you and you are the people I'd give my life to if I have a chance. You were the epitome of true friends. We haven't been together as much as we used to but you never failed to make me feel your presence even if we already have different lives of our own. Whenever we meet, I feel like I'm in Elbi wherever we go. Haha Thank you for all the love and support you have and are currently giving. The four of us were the tightest of the cliques before, and now that it's only us three remaining, thank you for never leaving me on my own. I don't know how much I can thank you but there, I have given you a lot of thank you's for this post, haven't I? Haha Thank you Dre for all the wise words. You have always been the big brother I looked up to and you just always know the right words to say every single time. Thank you for all the understanding and for always being the bigger person for everyone concerned. I knew I could always count on you. And of course, thank you Chass for all the listening, understanding and care. We have been through a couple of major things together recently and it has been easier because of you. Thank you so much for everything. The recent events made me more closer to you than I have been during my whole stay in the University and I thank you for opening up the way you did. You're one of the few youngsters I truly love. And I know for sure, one day, we'd be happier. ♥
And of course I want to thank my long-time friends Kathy, Ivy, Hanny and Anne.. Kathy, I know we haven't been spending much time as we used to but it really meant a lot when you reached out and offered your support. I can't be more thankful for everything. We're miles apart but I swear, you never failed to make me feel the sincerity of your love and concern. I hope to see you soon. :). Ibedon, thank you so much for all the empowerment and wise words, you never made me feel like I, or the situation I'm at was judged. We haven't been spending that much time together but I'm really thankful for having a friend like you. I knew I can always count on you. :) Hanibunita! Oh my gosh, how can I ever thank you enough for all the love, support and fun? You have been my bestest friend since HNF41 days and I must say, we have come a long way from our College shopping sprees and endless conversations. I really am lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for always being there for me through all the good and the bad. Thank you for teaching me a lot of things and for always being a reminder that life should always be dealt with smile and composure. We have just been through a lot that I know I wouldn't be the person I am now today if it weren't for you. Bola-ish but true. Hehe :))) And of course, Anne Krista, thank you so much for all the love, support and friendship. We haven't seen each other for literally years but you have always been there. You're still here, giving me support and you just don't know how much you helped me during those times when I was at my lowest. The daily conversations really helped me more than anything. Thank goodness for technology as I can converse with you even if you're already in Auz! I never thought that our friendship could've endured all those years. And I say we have become closer than we were when you were still here. I swear one day, I'd be able to visit you there. You are one of those friends I am lucky I am able to keep. Thank you for everything ☺
I'm not saying I'm past everything but because of you, I have come to see things at a different light. Because of all your care and support, I'm in a better place. And most importantly, because of all your love, I'm no longer afraid. I now realize that I need not be afraid for I am not alone. I am being given love more than my two hands can ever clasp.
THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU.
CHEERS TO MORE YEARS OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP! ❤☺
Good times
As I was fixing my things, I found this again. I started this month with you in my thoughts, looks like I'm gonna be ending it the same way as well. As weird as it sounds, I was smiling at the sight of this and all the memories it brings.
This January
I'm thankful that after a long while, we were finally able to look at the same sky at the same time. There are just a lot of little things worth more than what it actually does. I have no other prayer for this morning than better and more wonderful things to come. 😊
2012 is for the adversities: A tell-all - annotated
One will never know his strength unless he is at his weakest.
If I can summarize this year in one word, 'challenges' comes to mind.. I have been made to face endeavors not only on the academic aspect of my life but in my family and relationship as well - which, as anyone of you can guess, comprise the most part of my being. In short, my year has been one emotional turmoil.
It was difficult. But even difficult is an understatement. I have cried tons of tears this past year if that can be a gauge on how hard things became for me.
1st Quarter (January-March)
I remember trying to fight to keep my spot in medschool at the start of the year. Medschool has definitely been the most mentally challenging path I embarked on. Never in my life have I had difficulty in studying to the point where there came a time when it already border-lined depression. Most of the time too, I tend to ponder if this is really for me. Am I really where I'm supposed to be because for the longest time, I just don't feel at home. I have never felt I belonged here, actually. But, as all things in life, this has been my choice and I just have to suck it all up, because difficulty is not enough reason to stop anyone.
I got a grip on myself and was finally able to pass all my subjects. During these times, I realized that one can only go as far as he'll let himself. My own self was my biggest adversity. The main problem? Thinking too much. The main solution? Focusing on the things that needs accomplishing.
2nd Quarter (April-June)
Depression, loneliness, frustration, and long-distance relationship never adds up to a good sum. For the first time in almost 6 years, Sam and I broke up for more than a month. Up until now, I still cannot pinpoint the main reason, but I guess we just both got burned out along with the agony of not being together. I was at fault for that break-up, I confess. Sometimes, when we're too focused on our goals, it is easy to lose ourselves. I let my depression get the whole of me. I changed for the worse and I dragged the relationship along with it. Knowing that it is I who has fault wasn't easy either. I was the one left with all the what-ifs and could-have-beens
Then, summer vacation came. I tried focusing what's left of me and made it into something greater. The time alone helped me focus on myself. I cultivated, nurtured and molded myself into the person I am right now. I first targeted the depression by reading self-help books and reflecting on the areas of my personality I wanted to target. Then, I allowed myself to enjoy household chores and cooking. I rekindled with old friends and started counting blessings instead of frustrations. In short, I had a make-over, so to speak. ☺
3rd Quarter (July - September)
And of course, just as the 3rd quarter started, Sam and I got back together. Haha I knooooow. I told you, it was one helluva chopsuey-like emotional turmoil for me. Haha Along with the start of a new school year, my love life held promise of a tabula rasa. It initially wasn't that smooth as we're still both broken and hurt from all the things said and done, but we were able to somehow get over them and was happy. Although, I never thought that that happiness can only be short-lived.
4th Quarter (October - December)
This I guess had to be one of the most difficult things I had to face this year. My dad has been in and out of the hospital for almost a whole month. For the first time, I have seen him so helpless and just plaintive. It literally broke my heart. The realization of my parents aging started creeping in. Why do we have this tendency to think that the world just stops the way we remember it? I have been too focused on myself that I have forgotten the fact that it is not only I who grows.
Then semestral break came. I have been given the most shocking news I have yet to receive so far. I need an extra year. Until now, I still haven't made up my mind on how to deal with that, but what the hell. I still need to pass my subjects this year before I deal with that demon. Haha
On top of all that, before the year ended, Sam and I broke-up for good. I caught him cheating. I didn't see that one coming, really. It just wasn't him. But, enough of that. We have talked about it just a few days ago and we have settled things between the two of us. It was a sigh of relief, actually. All I really needed was the whole truth. It's difficult to explain as of the moment, but, what is done is done. I still may not have accepted the whole fact as it is, but I'm getting there. And I think that's what's important and what I need most right now. And now I know, what we both need is to heal. And who knows, maybe after all the pain, regret and suffering has ended, true love still prevails. I hope so. I really do. ☺
****
That's basically how my year has been - a complete set of crazy, but important just the same. I still haven't faced and dealt with a lot of the things here but this 2013, I'm hoping for breakthroughs and solutions. I am a strong believer that these things were given for my growth as a person. Cheers to better and bigger things! HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! ♥ ☺ ♫ ♪
P.S. I basically edited the contents of this entry as I have been so sabaw while doing this, the timeline's just so confusing, hence the mix-up of dates. I have actually been itching to edit this a week after I wrote it but I haven't had the time (not that I have all the time now). K, I'm mumbling all to myself again. Ciao for now!
-edz (3/18/13)
If I can summarize this year in one word, 'challenges' comes to mind.. I have been made to face endeavors not only on the academic aspect of my life but in my family and relationship as well - which, as anyone of you can guess, comprise the most part of my being. In short, my year has been one emotional turmoil.
It was difficult. But even difficult is an understatement. I have cried tons of tears this past year if that can be a gauge on how hard things became for me.
1st Quarter (January-March)
I remember trying to fight to keep my spot in medschool at the start of the year. Medschool has definitely been the most mentally challenging path I embarked on. Never in my life have I had difficulty in studying to the point where there came a time when it already border-lined depression. Most of the time too, I tend to ponder if this is really for me. Am I really where I'm supposed to be because for the longest time, I just don't feel at home. I have never felt I belonged here, actually. But, as all things in life, this has been my choice and I just have to suck it all up, because difficulty is not enough reason to stop anyone.
I got a grip on myself and was finally able to pass all my subjects. During these times, I realized that one can only go as far as he'll let himself. My own self was my biggest adversity. The main problem? Thinking too much. The main solution? Focusing on the things that needs accomplishing.
2nd Quarter (April-June)
Depression, loneliness, frustration, and long-distance relationship never adds up to a good sum. For the first time in almost 6 years, Sam and I broke up for more than a month. Up until now, I still cannot pinpoint the main reason, but I guess we just both got burned out along with the agony of not being together. I was at fault for that break-up, I confess. Sometimes, when we're too focused on our goals, it is easy to lose ourselves. I let my depression get the whole of me. I changed for the worse and I dragged the relationship along with it. Knowing that it is I who has fault wasn't easy either. I was the one left with all the what-ifs and could-have-beens
Then, summer vacation came. I tried focusing what's left of me and made it into something greater. The time alone helped me focus on myself. I cultivated, nurtured and molded myself into the person I am right now. I first targeted the depression by reading self-help books and reflecting on the areas of my personality I wanted to target. Then, I allowed myself to enjoy household chores and cooking. I rekindled with old friends and started counting blessings instead of frustrations. In short, I had a make-over, so to speak. ☺
3rd Quarter (July - September)
And of course, just as the 3rd quarter started, Sam and I got back together. Haha I knooooow. I told you, it was one helluva chopsuey-like emotional turmoil for me. Haha Along with the start of a new school year, my love life held promise of a tabula rasa. It initially wasn't that smooth as we're still both broken and hurt from all the things said and done, but we were able to somehow get over them and was happy. Although, I never thought that that happiness can only be short-lived.
4th Quarter (October - December)
This I guess had to be one of the most difficult things I had to face this year. My dad has been in and out of the hospital for almost a whole month. For the first time, I have seen him so helpless and just plaintive. It literally broke my heart. The realization of my parents aging started creeping in. Why do we have this tendency to think that the world just stops the way we remember it? I have been too focused on myself that I have forgotten the fact that it is not only I who grows.
Then semestral break came. I have been given the most shocking news I have yet to receive so far. I need an extra year. Until now, I still haven't made up my mind on how to deal with that, but what the hell. I still need to pass my subjects this year before I deal with that demon. Haha
On top of all that, before the year ended, Sam and I broke-up for good. I caught him cheating. I didn't see that one coming, really. It just wasn't him. But, enough of that. We have talked about it just a few days ago and we have settled things between the two of us. It was a sigh of relief, actually. All I really needed was the whole truth. It's difficult to explain as of the moment, but, what is done is done. I still may not have accepted the whole fact as it is, but I'm getting there. And I think that's what's important and what I need most right now. And now I know, what we both need is to heal. And who knows, maybe after all the pain, regret and suffering has ended, true love still prevails. I hope so. I really do. ☺
****
That's basically how my year has been - a complete set of crazy, but important just the same. I still haven't faced and dealt with a lot of the things here but this 2013, I'm hoping for breakthroughs and solutions. I am a strong believer that these things were given for my growth as a person. Cheers to better and bigger things! HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! ♥ ☺ ♫ ♪
P.S. I basically edited the contents of this entry as I have been so sabaw while doing this, the timeline's just so confusing, hence the mix-up of dates. I have actually been itching to edit this a week after I wrote it but I haven't had the time (not that I have all the time now). K, I'm mumbling all to myself again. Ciao for now!
-edz (3/18/13)
Ha-ha-happy Holidays! Part I
ANG GANDA NG GISING KO NGAYON. bow. ♫♪♫☺♥☺
For some unknown reason, I'm feeling extra happy today that I just might end up being extra productive. To start the day, I was singing before I even opened my eyes to greet the morning sun. Then, I ate vegetables for breakfast and headed out to walk our three cutie doggies. And right now, I'm not writing a sulking blog post while listening to Maroon5, Bridgit Mendler and Bruno Mars. I can do this forever! Ha! I never thought that feeling great need not a particular reason. The holiday spirit must be getting into me. Cheers to happier days, everyone! MAY YOU ALL HAVE A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR (I can no longer greet you a merry Christmas since it's already finished. Haha) :)
P.S. I've had a lot of adventures these past couple of days and I just might post some photos and blog entries for you guys to enjoy. Ciao for now! :)
For some unknown reason, I'm feeling extra happy today that I just might end up being extra productive. To start the day, I was singing before I even opened my eyes to greet the morning sun. Then, I ate vegetables for breakfast and headed out to walk our three cutie doggies. And right now, I'm not writing a sulking blog post while listening to Maroon5, Bridgit Mendler and Bruno Mars. I can do this forever! Ha! I never thought that feeling great need not a particular reason. The holiday spirit must be getting into me. Cheers to happier days, everyone! MAY YOU ALL HAVE A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR (I can no longer greet you a merry Christmas since it's already finished. Haha) :)
 |
| Baliw-baliwan mode in the morning ☺ ♥ |
P.S. I've had a lot of adventures these past couple of days and I just might post some photos and blog entries for you guys to enjoy. Ciao for now! :)
Groping
It's Christmas Eve and I'm still confused, heartbroken and dysfunctional. Whoever gave everybody the idea that I'm THAT strong? Do guide me please through this labyrinth because I'm tired of groping my way alone.
Reminders
I went to the supermarket today and remembered our KDocs days. Just a few weeks back, I remember myself planning on having weekly grocery trips with you. "Very soon," I thought, "soon enough you'll get to have moments like that again. Just a little more patience."
I cooked lunch for two days in a row now. I remembered how you've always wanted to have me cook. I remembered the joy cooking brings you as well. I remember your sinigang, adobo and ubod all too well. You would've been proud that I find cooking enjoyable now. You would've been proud to taste the pink salmon and cordon bleu I made. I'm sure you would've.
I saw an old picture of us together. It now seemed like a distant past, vaguely remembered, but brings back happy memories just the same. We were happy together. That I'm sure of. People envied what we had - wanted and prayed for it, even. And now, all that remains are blurred pain and fuzzy lines. We could've gone too far. We could've heard those bells ringing for us. We could've had that white day, filled with friends, family and love. We could've ridden that white horse to eternity.
As I lay in bed tonight, I can't help but wonder how you've been. I guess on my part, I'm holding up pretty much fine - better than what I'm expecting, but still generally not okáy. I can't help but wonder what goes on in that marvelous brain of yours. Deciphering it used to be a challenge for myself, way back. You used to be that sole person I cannot manipulate. It's funny, but that's what made me interested in you initially. And now, I can't help but think what is left of whatever we had. I guess I still cannot bear the thought of having to move past you - having to walk alone in another path.
Everywhere I look in this wee little world of mine, there seems to be a reminder of you and who you used to be. Starting a whole new world without you is close to impossible right now but wherever this leads, hopefully, I get to be happier in the end. I have now come into terms with the fact that I can never ever forget you. That, my dear is really impossible. It's like asking me to remember somebody I haven't even met. I guess for now what I have to learn is how to dissociate you from every happy detail, circumstance, situation, what-have-you in my life. Because right now, not having you beside me isn't empty at all - it's just sad, sadness in its entirety.
I cooked lunch for two days in a row now. I remembered how you've always wanted to have me cook. I remembered the joy cooking brings you as well. I remember your sinigang, adobo and ubod all too well. You would've been proud that I find cooking enjoyable now. You would've been proud to taste the pink salmon and cordon bleu I made. I'm sure you would've.
I saw an old picture of us together. It now seemed like a distant past, vaguely remembered, but brings back happy memories just the same. We were happy together. That I'm sure of. People envied what we had - wanted and prayed for it, even. And now, all that remains are blurred pain and fuzzy lines. We could've gone too far. We could've heard those bells ringing for us. We could've had that white day, filled with friends, family and love. We could've ridden that white horse to eternity.
As I lay in bed tonight, I can't help but wonder how you've been. I guess on my part, I'm holding up pretty much fine - better than what I'm expecting, but still generally not okáy. I can't help but wonder what goes on in that marvelous brain of yours. Deciphering it used to be a challenge for myself, way back. You used to be that sole person I cannot manipulate. It's funny, but that's what made me interested in you initially. And now, I can't help but think what is left of whatever we had. I guess I still cannot bear the thought of having to move past you - having to walk alone in another path.
Everywhere I look in this wee little world of mine, there seems to be a reminder of you and who you used to be. Starting a whole new world without you is close to impossible right now but wherever this leads, hopefully, I get to be happier in the end. I have now come into terms with the fact that I can never ever forget you. That, my dear is really impossible. It's like asking me to remember somebody I haven't even met. I guess for now what I have to learn is how to dissociate you from every happy detail, circumstance, situation, what-have-you in my life. Because right now, not having you beside me isn't empty at all - it's just sad, sadness in its entirety.
From flood to glad ♥
This day marks the worst flood I have so far experienced in Manila - it's as if my eyes were actually wading the flood - there was just water everywhere I looked. Yes, it's shocking, but most of all, kadiri.
I came to class without sleep (the reason will be discussed at a later blog post as I want this to be my week's highlight) and still ever hopeful that things will turn out better despite the irritation that's already welling up inside me. And you know what, despite the fact that for the first time, I crossed Manila's flood water, almost got stranded while going home; and all the hassle this typhoon/LPA brings, I'm still amazed as to how this day turned out to be.
5 total strangers offered and gave me help without second thought. I didn't expect that there are still a lot of amazingly wonderful people remaining in Manila. Everyday, I'm exposed to perverts, self-centered, egocentric, and materialistic people - helping is at the bottom of their list, if not none at all. Thank you random stranger #1 for helping me cross City hall just so I won't get immersed in flood water; stranger #2 for being a great barker and finding a big stone for me just so I can ride the jeepney to school without having to immerse my feet in the water; stranger #3 for being the best jeepney driver ever by really stopping over at PLM's entrance so we (your passengers) won't have to walk by the flood just to get to school; stranger #4 for fetching me a cab when I got stranded - without you, I wouldn't really have gone home; stranger #5 for being a kind driver and not asking for too much money in return of your services. Again, I am more indebted to you all. Thank you and may God bless you and your family more today and the days to come. :)
I came to class without sleep (the reason will be discussed at a later blog post as I want this to be my week's highlight) and still ever hopeful that things will turn out better despite the irritation that's already welling up inside me. And you know what, despite the fact that for the first time, I crossed Manila's flood water, almost got stranded while going home; and all the hassle this typhoon/LPA brings, I'm still amazed as to how this day turned out to be.
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| Photo courtesy of Yen. :)) |
5 total strangers offered and gave me help without second thought. I didn't expect that there are still a lot of amazingly wonderful people remaining in Manila. Everyday, I'm exposed to perverts, self-centered, egocentric, and materialistic people - helping is at the bottom of their list, if not none at all. Thank you random stranger #1 for helping me cross City hall just so I won't get immersed in flood water; stranger #2 for being a great barker and finding a big stone for me just so I can ride the jeepney to school without having to immerse my feet in the water; stranger #3 for being the best jeepney driver ever by really stopping over at PLM's entrance so we (your passengers) won't have to walk by the flood just to get to school; stranger #4 for fetching me a cab when I got stranded - without you, I wouldn't really have gone home; stranger #5 for being a kind driver and not asking for too much money in return of your services. Again, I am more indebted to you all. Thank you and may God bless you and your family more today and the days to come. :)
This July: Don't you worry...♥
...because even if life offers problems difficult to handle than it seem;
...because even if sometimes we rarely find time to be at peace even with our own selves;
...because even if we encounter people highly different from ourselves;
...because even if stressors in life are everywhere;
...because even if delegated tasks are more than what your two hands can bear;
...because even if we don't get to have everything in life;
...because even if we don't get to be always with the people we love;
...because even if we don't always get what we want;
...because even if it's too difficult to be thankful and grateful for blessings;
...because even if life places you in roads where optimism is too difficult to find;
...because even if we often fail;
...because even if others look down on us;
...because even if frustrations get the best of us;
...and because even if no one understands exactly the difficult shit we're at...
...as Bob Marley puts it, "every little thing's gonna be alright"
...and because you're the only one with the capability to actually ruin or make your day. ♥
Soldier, fighter, knight?
A friend recently (as in just a few minutes back) told me that I'm being "strong". Wow, that's new. All this time I thought I'm being just the opposite - weak. Come to think of it, that's a new way of looking at things. I thought this is what desperate and hopeless people do; turns out, it's an act of bravery. I guess not being all too consumed by the pain is in fact a form of bravery, e? Well, of course I feel pain; I feel it every single time I am at loss of something to do physically, or whenever my mind rests from keeping every other aspect of my life in place. I feel pain and of course I'm not happy but I guess the good thing about that is, I relish the pain whenever it comes - I don't run away from it. I cry when I feel like crying; I ponder upon things when I feel like there's something I'm not truly getting. And of course, I'm blabbering again. I just can't seem to keep my thoughts as flaccid as it used to be. But, maybe I am brave. Maybe I can really do this on my own, only I'm too scared to face things as they are now.
Whatever this situation brings, I thank God for today's book finds. I spent a total of only <200Php on supposedly 1000Php books. And of course for a wonderful day spent with a dear friend over dinner, coffee and a great conversation. <3
Whatever this situation brings, I thank God for today's book finds. I spent a total of only <200Php on supposedly 1000Php books. And of course for a wonderful day spent with a dear friend over dinner, coffee and a great conversation. <3
Readers, beware
This is totally a mushy, cheesy, call-it-whatever-you-want post.
Proceed with caution.
Don't say I didn't warn you!!!
***********
I often spend my day daydreaming about....
...having a picnic date with you again (it's been years since we last did that)
...spending even just one day together without any work, acads or problems to think about
...talking with you under the shades of Freedom Park
...eating out at a decent restaurant with you
...cuddling
...our next travel adventure
...having long conversations with the imaginary you
...stress-free, carefree day for us
...sand, sea, sky, swimming, you
...permanent meet-ups
...coffee dates
...food trips
...long walks under the moonlight
...the rush of cool breeze under the stars as I sit beside you on a pavement
...simpler and less complicated life
I want all these and more but I guess I just can't have them at the moment. So, for the time being, all I'm left with are my thoughts and the need to pour the frustrations out.
*********************
So, as I was digging up our sites, I got hold of these. I don't know what is it with Januaries but it sure is one lucky month for us I think:
...you have always had that sweetness inside of you that just melts every teardrop away. Gosh, how many times can I reiterate I'm missing you badly? :(
And as I end this post, I didn't expect to see this. Another reminder that as difficult and tough this relationship has been, the element of laughter and fun has never left us. I just wish to get to be with you again for real.
Proceed with caution.
Don't say I didn't warn you!!!
***********
I often spend my day daydreaming about....
...having a picnic date with you again (it's been years since we last did that)
...spending even just one day together without any work, acads or problems to think about
...talking with you under the shades of Freedom Park
...eating out at a decent restaurant with you
...cuddling
...our next travel adventure
...having long conversations with the imaginary you
...stress-free, carefree day for us
...sand, sea, sky, swimming, you
...permanent meet-ups
...coffee dates
...food trips
...long walks under the moonlight
...the rush of cool breeze under the stars as I sit beside you on a pavement
...simpler and less complicated life
I want all these and more but I guess I just can't have them at the moment. So, for the time being, all I'm left with are my thoughts and the need to pour the frustrations out.
*********************
So, as I was digging up our sites, I got hold of these. I don't know what is it with Januaries but it sure is one lucky month for us I think:
The wind was cold and heavy.. The night was quiet.. We stopped at the sidewalk to talk.. We both did a little talking.. She gave me more tears than words..
About 30 months and 2 days ago we vowed to love each other forever.. Along the way are struggles, pain, suffering, what have you.. We surpassed those.. We are happy.. We are proud.. I love her.. She loves me.. I thought we were perfect.. I thought love is enough.. What I thought to be just right for 30 months and 2 days is not enough.. Love is not enough to make this relationship work..
Between the line 'I love you' are spaces.. Spaces that need to be filled with responsibility and care.. Both of which lack within me.. I know for 30 months and 2 days she persisted.. She was happy but within her, she was crying.. In the end I realized that it was I who has a problem.. The only problem is me.. I cannot blame her for being mad at me.. I am mad at me too..
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in an opportunity.. An optimist sees an opportunity in every difficulty". This is the time to look at things in a different way.. This is my chance to once again prove my worth.. Only and only if the door is not yet closed..
I love her.. And I am sorry..(Jan.18, 2009, 1:54am)
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| One of our most kadiri shots together. We do have a loooong history. Haha |
As they say, people will never be contented. The word's existence in our dictionaries reflects how human aims for the ideal which is a strike to the moon so to speak. People will also look for better things. A better car. A better house. Even a better partner. And I was never an exception to this human nature.
Indeed they are right. I can never be contented. However, I still found some exceptions.
About four years ago, I met someone who gets better and better everyday. She never fails to make me laugh at her silly jokes. She always manage to bring a crack of smile out of me every time that I refused to do so. She gives me a double-beat whenever I saw her smile, whenever I feel her skin. She always break the ice out of my frozen situations. She made me fall in love and fall deeply more in love everyday.
I know people might call me a fool. But I'd rather be a fool than hide this evidences which clearly showed me that the word CONTENTMENT is not a fallacy.
I found my exception. I found you. I love you and I want you to know how contented I am
Indeed they are right. I can never be contented. However, I still found some exceptions.
About four years ago, I met someone who gets better and better everyday. She never fails to make me laugh at her silly jokes. She always manage to bring a crack of smile out of me every time that I refused to do so. She gives me a double-beat whenever I saw her smile, whenever I feel her skin. She always break the ice out of my frozen situations. She made me fall in love and fall deeply more in love everyday.
I know people might call me a fool. But I'd rather be a fool than hide this evidences which clearly showed me that the word CONTENTMENT is not a fallacy.
I found my exception. I found you. I love you and I want you to know how contented I am
 |
| Ah, the breath of young love. :)) |
...you have always had that sweetness inside of you that just melts every teardrop away. Gosh, how many times can I reiterate I'm missing you badly? :(
 |
| You and your mad drawing skills! Crazy! Haha (Meet monkey cutie, Sam and I's stuffed baby) |
And as I end this post, I didn't expect to see this. Another reminder that as difficult and tough this relationship has been, the element of laughter and fun has never left us. I just wish to get to be with you again for real.
Week 1.1
I may not have understood and approve of all your means, but I'm beginning to understand now.
It just proves your affection - how much you'd like to change for the better not only for yourself, but for us. Thank you. No one has actually done that for me before. And that's not the best part yet. I guess the best part of these all is being motivated to grow and actually being allowed to grow. There are room for errors, but there can never be enough room for improvements.
This may not reach you soon enough, but THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS MAKING ME ASPIRE TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON. ♥
It just proves your affection - how much you'd like to change for the better not only for yourself, but for us. Thank you. No one has actually done that for me before. And that's not the best part yet. I guess the best part of these all is being motivated to grow and actually being allowed to grow. There are room for errors, but there can never be enough room for improvements.
This may not reach you soon enough, but THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS MAKING ME ASPIRE TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON. ♥
Guess what...
I think I'm about to flip...
It's that itch I can't help but scratch;
more like a withdrawal syndrome addicts feel;
or like mania, depression, hope and faith all at the same time.
It's crazy and I have to deal with it. It's unhealthy and it has to stop.
It's that itch I can't help but scratch;
more like a withdrawal syndrome addicts feel;
or like mania, depression, hope and faith all at the same time.
It's crazy and I have to deal with it. It's unhealthy and it has to stop.
Just another heartache
Maria Aragon - Gaga's recent favorite
Today, I woke up still feeling sullen about my exam yesterday. Try as I might, I can't get it off my head. It was a dream. It was my dream for the longest time and I feel like it's being nabbed away from me just like that. It is painful, I must tell you. All the while I was commuting back home, I was fighting back tears. I don't think any preparation could have prepped me for that exam. Being one wide-reader could have been one. Well, I'm a wide-reader myself, but... Okay, so let me rephrase that, being an extra-super-duper wide-reader could have been the ultimate preparation for it.
So today, out of routine, I checked on the internet and one thing led to another until my fingers landed me on this one. Such an adorable kid, YES, an amazing talent, too. But what caught me more are the words of this song. Very timely. You know those moments when you're depressed or heartbroken or just merely sad when you think almost all love songs and blues out there are dedicated to you? Well, this is that moment for me, only, this ain't no love song, it's a Pop song, actually. This kid's rendition's just the perfect way to soothe my nerves for today and calm my spirits. The next question now is, how long will it last before I start aiming for my jugular vein?
I don't know.
I need friends ASAP. Plus coffee, plus laughter, plus extra loads of wonderful people. And most especially, my lovelife.
Ang Pag-Iiibig kong Ito, Luha ang Tanging Nakamit Buhat Sa'yooo
Gustuhin ko mang ibahagi sa inyong lahat ang aking mga karanasan nitong nakaraang weekend, na talaga namang nagpakumpleto sa (tingin kong) malungkot at platonic kong buhay, eh sadyang hindi ko pa talaga magawa. Gusto ko kapag naidetalye ko na ang mga bagay-bagay, kumpleto, walang kulang, at panay labis na ekspresyon lamang para naman maramdaman niyo talaga ang aking pagkamangha at pagkahumaling sa lugar na iyon. I want to justify its grandness, kung baga. Dahil diyan, ibubuhos ko na lang muna ang spot na ito sa isang bagay na nagpapabigat sa dibdib ko makailang araw na rin naman.
DISCLAIMER: Ito ay pawang kathang-isip lamang. Kung ang mga karakter, sitwasyon at lugar ay nahuhugis sa mga kakilala o naranasan ninyong mga bagay, pasintabi na lamang.
I am a very emotional and emphatic person. I easily absorb whatever other people are feeling. Sometimes it's very helpful, at most times it isn't. I even remember one time when I pleaded friends to stop first seeking a confidant in me just because I can no longer concentrate in my own life and feelings. It almost felt like I'm already living their lives for them - their emotions controlling the whole of me. It was bad. I hated those times. It didn't helped me in any way either. My life became a mess along with them. So now, I am trying my hardest not to be too emphatic, too moved and affected with other people. But, I just have to make an exception with this one. I have always had a soft spot for goodbyes.
Nothing beats the loneliness a long-distance-relationship brings. I should know for, my partner and I are on that exact situation, but being provinces apart is different from being countries apart. Just the thought of meeting with your other half on a monthly basis is unbearable. What more if you are totally unable to whenever, right?
Recently I found out that a friend had to totally separate with a loved one because of the difficult situation an LDR brings. I do believe that parting with someone even if both of you still love each other is the most difficult break-up there is. I just couldn't help but cry for them - let those unwelcome tears roll for them since they cannot for themselves for as you may have guessed, they are still enjoying each and every moment they're together. So here's a song for you guys and everyone else suffering the same plot (as I am not in the position to spill each and every detail):
Now you know why I'm not such a fan of Love Stories be it on film or in writing. I just cry my eyes out every time; spend lots of hours thinking about the manipulated reality created in it. It is always difficult to detach myself in any situation I'm watching or hearing, thus affecting my own emotions. Weird, I know. But sometimes, it helps. I just can't pinpoint now how.
So, friends, let's just watch some Rambo now, shall we?
DISCLAIMER: Ito ay pawang kathang-isip lamang. Kung ang mga karakter, sitwasyon at lugar ay nahuhugis sa mga kakilala o naranasan ninyong mga bagay, pasintabi na lamang.
I am a very emotional and emphatic person. I easily absorb whatever other people are feeling. Sometimes it's very helpful, at most times it isn't. I even remember one time when I pleaded friends to stop first seeking a confidant in me just because I can no longer concentrate in my own life and feelings. It almost felt like I'm already living their lives for them - their emotions controlling the whole of me. It was bad. I hated those times. It didn't helped me in any way either. My life became a mess along with them. So now, I am trying my hardest not to be too emphatic, too moved and affected with other people. But, I just have to make an exception with this one. I have always had a soft spot for goodbyes.
Nothing beats the loneliness a long-distance-relationship brings. I should know for, my partner and I are on that exact situation, but being provinces apart is different from being countries apart. Just the thought of meeting with your other half on a monthly basis is unbearable. What more if you are totally unable to whenever, right?
Recently I found out that a friend had to totally separate with a loved one because of the difficult situation an LDR brings. I do believe that parting with someone even if both of you still love each other is the most difficult break-up there is. I just couldn't help but cry for them - let those unwelcome tears roll for them since they cannot for themselves for as you may have guessed, they are still enjoying each and every moment they're together. So here's a song for you guys and everyone else suffering the same plot (as I am not in the position to spill each and every detail):
by Alicia Keys
You are always on my mind
all I do is count the days
where are you now?
I know I never let you down
I will never go away
I really wish that you'd stay but what can we do
all the days that you've been gone I dreamed about you
and I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home
No matter how far you are
no matter how long it takes him
no matter how long it takes him
through distance and time
I'll be waiting
and if you have to walk a million miles
I'll wait a million days to see you smile
distance and time, I'll be waiting
distance and time, I'll be waiting
will you take a train, to meet me where I am
are you on your way?
I will never do anything to hurt you
I'll never live without you
I really wish that you would stay but what can we do
All the days that you've been gone I dreamed about you
and I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home
Now you know why I'm not such a fan of Love Stories be it on film or in writing. I just cry my eyes out every time; spend lots of hours thinking about the manipulated reality created in it. It is always difficult to detach myself in any situation I'm watching or hearing, thus affecting my own emotions. Weird, I know. But sometimes, it helps. I just can't pinpoint now how.
So, friends, let's just watch some Rambo now, shall we?
About Me
- edzdeline
- I'm trying to get my balance as I fidget my way back to the world.
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Such a bookworm
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