You will be forever missed and loved, Lolo Tatay

I've always had a hard time saying goodbyes. I'm as clingy as can be. My mind is fixated on this childhood fantasy that everything  everyone will stay for as long as I want them to be - for as long as I can hold on to them.

Writing this doesn't even  make it easier. I don't know what to say without fighting back tears. Just this morning I found out that my grandfather died. Our house help told me so before I was about to start eating and as you may have guessed, eating didn't come off as easy, either.

I'm planning on making a more decent post about this in the next coming days when I'm more myself already. This is actually my first time to face death head-on. When I was younger, I used to run away from it as long as I can. It was traumatic in a way. Hopefully, this time I'd be able to mourn well and honor our loving and great grandfather's memory the best way I can.

P.S. This just makes it far more worse. Here we are, about to celebrate the latest feat my brother has accomplished with heavy hearts and burdensome pain at the expense of a loss of a great one . Life's little ironies.