On being sad

Sadness is one of the emotions I let myself get consumed in (at times I admit, too much than it should). It's not a very good habit, but I'm trying (my best) to break it now. Sometimes, though, there are instances that just can't make me let go as if all the bad memories that comes along with it drown my whole being. I'm trying, I really am. This is some kind of a rehab for me so please, I'm begging you, don't make me relapse. I don't want to be in that place again. I want to be happy, if not happier - I deserve to be.

Yey! Finally!

I haz a new printer!:))) I'm so happyyyyyyy! No more photocopies, overpriced printing, and expensive books!!!

Amazingly cheap and highly functional

Le printer in action

Don't you just love the colors? :))

Please excuse the crappy photos as that's the best thing my camera phone is able to supply. Finally, I have something I truly need. I'm getting more and more excited for you, 2nd year!:))

"P*ta, Puppy, puppy ka pa diyan!"

Today, I had my first ever Internal medicine class and my professor was hilarious! When I entered PLM, I was exposed to stiff, scary and rigid (or maybe my younger self was just overwhelmed) doctors that I never thought quirky and fun ones are out of the question - today, I was proven wrong. Thought for the most part, I was nervous of being called for recitation, I was more amused than so, I guess. I've never heard professors cuss in medicine until today and it feels great. It makes me feel like I'm back in UP where education is not so structured and freedom of expression is highly encouraged. It's the 4th day of classes today and somehow, I feel at home. ♥

*********

It's quite unconventional to be together and not at the same time. Confusing, I know, but I guess that's what sets this thing apart - we have been idiosyncratic from the start and we're not afraid to take on things others have never even considered.

I want this more than winning Lotto

As of the moment, I am not interested in anyone else's reply but of Georgina Wilson's.

Please, please, please, let me be one of the lucky winners of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I've always wanted to buy that book long before it was thought of being made into a film. :))

Failures and first days

Today was our first day of classes. New school year, challenges, adversities, learning, and all the stuff schooling brings. It's quite exciting and baffling at the same time. I still can't believe I'm on my 2nd year now. Time flies swiftly and difficultly in medschool. I don't know what to make out and expect of this school year, but I must say I am definitely more prepared than I was last year. To start with, I already have a dormitory so I wouldn't have to commute to and fro school each and everyday (as I have during the first few weeks last year).Secondly, I came to class with a fairly sized notebook with ample amount of leaves (as my last year's was a little too tiny for a subject's one year classes). And most importantly, I am not that scared anymore.

For today, our professor gave us a lengthy but (generally) inspiring lesson: EMBRACE FAILURES. For most people, if not all, failure is such a scary bitch. We dodge it when we see it approaching, hide it when we get it, and we always aspire to be what we think of as perfection. We always fail to recognize that success is not the loss of mistakes - it's quite the opposite. As cliche as it may sound, a great football player isn't made until he learns how to stumble and fall.

I am one of those people. I have always aspired to become the best without having to show my weaknesses and shortcomings. I have always neglected and hidden them, thinking that if I keep on doing so, they will all just cease to exist and I'll be as perfect as I can be. Of course, it didn't help. If it hadn't been for the pressure that med brings, I wouldn't give in. It is never embarrassing to admit one's limitations and capabilities, after all.

So now, I welcome all the adversities, hardships and challenges this school year brings. I now know that it is okay to accept that one is having difficulty - no road to success is easy. So bring it on! I may not be able to handle it all magnificently, it's okay. As long as I learn, I'm already quite happy with that. I may not always be strong, but that's okay; others will provide what I lack in me. Optimism may not be always the road easiest to take, but this year, I'll try. As long as life is worth living, everything is worth trying. ♥

Soldier, fighter, knight?

A friend recently (as in just a few minutes back) told me that I'm being "strong". Wow, that's new. All this time I thought I'm being just the opposite - weak. Come to think of it, that's a new way of looking at things. I thought this is what desperate and hopeless people do; turns out, it's an act of bravery. I guess not being all too consumed by the pain is in fact a form of bravery, e? Well, of course I feel pain; I feel it every single time I am at loss of something to do physically, or whenever my mind rests from keeping every other aspect of my life in place. I feel pain and of course I'm not happy but I guess the good thing about that is, I relish the pain whenever it comes - I don't run away from it. I cry when I feel like crying; I ponder upon things when I feel like there's something I'm not truly getting. And of course, I'm blabbering again. I just can't seem to keep my thoughts as flaccid as it used to be. But, maybe I am brave. Maybe I can really do this on my own, only I'm too scared to face things as they are now.

Whatever this situation brings, I thank God for today's book finds. I spent a total of only <200Php on supposedly 1000Php books. And of course for a wonderful day spent with a dear friend over dinner, coffee and a great conversation. <3