Just when I really need to get things done...

...I don't.

I have come to realize that all I ever did this vacation was eat, sleep, watch tv series, eat again and eat some more. As if my body still need that extra pound. I have sworn like 3 days in a row now to jog but all I actually ever do is wake up when the alarm goes berserk, solve the simple math puzzle (I initially placed with it to keep me from falling back to sleep), and whoala, back to slumber again. Sometimes it amazes me how talented I am at sleeping. It's annoying too, that I've always loved math. There should be like tagalog verses or puzzles there. A good example would be differentiating tagalog parts of sentences from others (i.e. differentiate panag-uri, pang-angkop, pangatnig, etc). That I'm sure will keep my mind twisted for hours before I solve it and won't be able to sleep again.

Oh and yeah, I still even googled that pang-angkop and pangatnig. Haha

Ha-ha-happy Holidays! Part I

ANG GANDA NG GISING KO NGAYON. bow. ♫♪♫☺♥☺

For some unknown reason, I'm feeling extra happy today that I just might end up being extra productive. To start the day, I was singing before I even opened my eyes to greet the morning sun. Then, I ate vegetables for breakfast and headed out to walk our three cutie doggies. And right now, I'm not writing a sulking blog post while listening to Maroon5, Bridgit Mendler and Bruno Mars. I can do this forever! Ha! I never thought that feeling great need not a particular reason. The holiday spirit must be getting into me. Cheers to happier days, everyone! MAY YOU ALL HAVE A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR (I can no longer greet you a merry Christmas since it's already finished. Haha) :)

Baliw-baliwan mode in the morning ☺ ♥

P.S. I've had a lot of adventures these past couple of days and I just might post some photos and blog entries for you guys to enjoy. Ciao for now! :)

Groping

It's Christmas Eve and I'm still confused, heartbroken and dysfunctional. Whoever gave everybody the idea that I'm THAT strong? Do guide me please through this labyrinth because I'm tired of groping my way alone.

Reminders

I went to the supermarket today and remembered our KDocs days. Just a few weeks back, I remember myself planning on having weekly grocery trips with you. "Very soon," I thought, "soon enough you'll get to have moments like that again. Just a little more patience."

I cooked lunch for two days in a row now. I remembered how you've always wanted to have me cook. I remembered the joy cooking brings you as well. I remember your sinigang, adobo and ubod all too well. You would've been proud that I find cooking enjoyable now. You would've been proud to taste the pink salmon and cordon bleu I made. I'm sure you would've.

I saw an old picture of us together. It now seemed like a distant past, vaguely remembered, but brings back happy memories just the same. We were happy together. That I'm sure of. People envied what we had - wanted and prayed for it, even. And now, all that remains are blurred pain and fuzzy lines. We could've gone too far. We could've heard those bells ringing for us. We could've had that white day, filled with friends, family and love. We could've ridden that white horse to eternity.

As I lay in bed tonight, I can't help but wonder how you've been. I guess on my part, I'm holding up pretty much fine - better than what I'm expecting, but still generally not okáy. I can't help but wonder what goes on in that marvelous brain of yours. Deciphering it used to be a challenge for myself, way back. You used to be that sole person I cannot manipulate. It's funny, but that's what made me interested in you initially. And now, I can't help but think what is left of whatever we had. I guess I still cannot bear the thought of having to move past you - having to walk alone in another path.

Everywhere I look in this wee little world of mine, there seems to be a reminder of you and who you used to be. Starting a whole new world without you is close to impossible right now but wherever this leads, hopefully, I get to be happier in the end. I have now come into terms with the fact that I can never ever forget you. That, my dear is really impossible. It's like asking me to remember somebody I haven't even met. I guess for now what I have to learn is how to dissociate you from every happy detail, circumstance, situation, what-have-you in my life. Because right now, not having you beside me isn't empty at all - it's just sad, sadness in its entirety.

Badiday's Night Out

I kind of have a girl group way back in College - not the singing dancing sort of girl group, as one would know. Haha But a girl support group, as I would like to say. Though I'm literally the only one with a different course than them, they have embraced and accepted me as if I'm no different. I honestly can't remember how it all started, but I remember the coffee sessions with endless chats we had. One of the highlights of my undergrad years, I must say. These girls have definitely completed me. It's one thing to have inuman buddies, but having the comforts and understanding of women is another thing. It's just incomparable. I'm pretty lucky to have them in my life.

Although right now, it's almost impossible to merge our scheds, from time to time we do get together and still have those conversations where we left off (of course over coffee). After more than a year of being apart, last night, we happen to meet-up again. Although it was only the three of us, it was still fun. I can't quite put into words how happy I was last night. The wise words they have given me, the very insightful details they can provide a person with is just priceless. I just feel so blessed to have them in my life. Thank God for beautiful and intelligent friends!

Had dinner at Pepper Lunch because Gretchen Marie was THAT hungry :D

Ibedon and her planner. Yey you! :)

Awwww. Who wouldn't be swept away with that pretty smile? :)

That obligatory coffee shop pose with the girls. <3

Thanks for last night, girls!I can't reiterate more how fun that was. I really had a great time.
Sorry Grekka for this shot pero ang ganda namin dito eh. Hahahaha :D

Oo nga pala...

Picture grabbed here

...minsan sa buhay natin,

sabay nating tiningala ang mga tala

This week...

Let's start the first week of my favorite holiday of the year with tons of meet-ups and being surrounded by adorable people. I couldn't be any more happier with how things turned up on the first week of the last month of the year (tongue twister much? Haha). More blessings and wonderful people for the years to come, please? 😊

Thank you

Because life goes on and this video reminded me of being thankful for a lot of things, most especially the wonderful people around me. Problems may come and go, but the goodness in people will always remain. I still have not lost that faith in people - I am still a believer. ☺

My last love letter

If there's one thing I'd like to be thankful about all these, it's that, I'm not the one left with all the regrets. It may be deeply painful now, but I'm somehow glad that I know I have done everything that I could have possibly done to fix and keep the relationship.I know I have done my part - mine and more. I guess, it's safe to say that at least I'm not the one left with the "what if's".

Believe me when I say I believed you when you said you love me and that has never changed; I believed you when you said you'll take everything back if you could only do so; when you said that you'll make things right when you already have the courage in you. I still believe in you. And I believe that this person who you think you are right now is not your best self for I have seen him and for more than 6 years he completed my life.

But what is done is done, there's no turning back now. We've already said our goodbyes we're capable of uttering at the moment. I felt your pain as you felt mine. No one knows what the future will bring but I know deep in my heart that there will come a time when our paths will converge again. I still have not lost that hope and I know you have not as well. No one can say if our time has already passed or our time is yet to come. Only God can tell. For now, I guess we know how much we've both lost, how much has been said and done. Let's keep it at that. Healing takes time and I acknowledge the fact that it is not I who's been the only one hurt.

So let me take this opportunity as well to thank you for everything. I have told you countless times that I have grown so much this year as a person than all of my lifetime combined. I have learned a lot. And this is something I have yet to learn, but as what I have promised you, I will try. Goodbye, Sam. Please believe me when I say too, that all I've ever wanted for you is to be truly happy. And for the last time, I love you.

Vignette

Nothing can be sweeter than sweets, itself

It's nice to indulge esp when in the bad you 

no longer want to dwell

    

For in life at times we forget who we used to be

from thinking too much on who we're supposed to be. 

Nocciola Gateau 

Caramella Premia

Pistaccio Cioccolato

Pause. Take a moment, breathe in, and you'll see,

It's easier to live when in doubts your mind is free. ☺

Caramia, Robinson's Malate.

Satisfied customers, we are.

P.S. Thank you Lord for a great day. Thank you for the grade in Surgery and all the blessings that you bestowed upon me. Today, you have made me realize even more that not a single misfortune defines a person.

Fearless

Let's just say that this week has not been one of the best, not one of the good, and not even one of the so-so either. Haha It would've crushed my old self, then, but right now, I guess I'm too adamant on changing my old ways.

As far as I'm concerned, I have received the best advice this week. "Well, that sucks I know," he said, "but I guess that'll just depend on how you'll look at things. A normal person will look at it plainly and say,'You're at the bottom'. But a wise person will look at it differently and see that you're on top. It just depends on your perspective."

And I guess, it is. It all is. Thanks for this, Mr. Navalez. I can't thank you enough, actually. Upside-down, it is, then! No wonder all children always seem to be so happy - they never fail to amuse themselves with life's complexities. :)

I swear.

And I light this candle for the posts that never made it; the thoughts long gone; the ideas that should've been; the pictures long forgotten; and memories that were never ingrained.

From this day forth, I promise as in promise to update you as much as possible, dear blog.



Haha ang arte lang. Still making the most out of my sem break. :)))

Some days are just really bad

Yesterday started with the most disturbing news my medical career has yet to slap me in the face with. I won't be bothering you with the details for now because I still don't know if I still get a chance to improve it whatsoever, but let me start this post by saying I fervently hope so. :(

It's a wake-up call, really. I have been neglecting a lot of things this past months that I tend to be lax and slack about things. For some reason, my 'letting-go-of-negative-things' border lined being apathetic of things. It sucks, really. I feel so horrible, to say the least. I feel so f*cking ingrate to my parents, most esp. And above all, I feel a pang of guilt. Dumbass move. Stupid. Careless.

Oh well. What's done is done. I can never turn back time, I just have to learn from it. I was not a born fighter, but I was molded into one and yes, I'm not letting go of this just yet - not without a fight, anyway.

Tomorrow will be the moment of truth. My fate and succeeding steps will be determined by tomorrow meeting's outcome. I just do hope everything turns out the way I hope it to be. Oh gosh. I'll do everything to get it all back. But I couldn't and now, I just have to live with it.

Vague, I know but please bear with me. It's really shameful to blurt out this recent misfortune. That's all for now, folks. I do hope you're all having a better time. I sincerely do. ☺







P.S. Yesterday too, my father has been in and out of the hospital. Well, for the past couple of days, actually. It'll mean so much if you can say a prayer for him, you know; or include him in yours. That'll be really nice and will mean so much to me. And for that, I thank you all in advance

FINALLY!

I would just like you to know that your stalking days are over. One more move, and I just might see you in court. :3

Anti-cybercrime bill now a law-criminalizes bashing

Not a movie junkie but

"Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured,if the entire world is one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And you have to be here for some reason too."  -Hugo, 2011

And I'll end this long weekend with this. We do find inspiration on things we unexpectedly encounter. All in all, this has been one rejuvenating weekend. I hope you guys had a great one as well.

♥,

 edz

♥

And it's nice to know that now we're in a better and happier place. ♥ ☺

Meet my Cousin - Joy! ☺♥☺

For the first time in more than a year, I finally have a dorm buddy in La Manile! :)

Photo edited by Joy :))

Ito nga pala si Joy ang aking Ka-sin...

Ka-

...sama kumain
...sabay mag-aral
...sabay mag-almusal
...samang mag-grocery
...sabay pumasok
...sama magpuntang bakery
...sama sa puyatan
...sabay mag-dinner
...text pag wala sa dorm
...usap pag free time
...tawanan everyday
...sama mag-sound trip
...tulad sa pagka-adik sa pictures

...sabay pag-uwi every saturday

...ramay pag stressful ang araw ♥ 

Dahil sa kanya, ang buhay ay mas masaya kahit nasa nakakastress na Maynila. =)

From flood to glad ♥

This day marks the worst flood I have so far experienced in Manila - it's as if my eyes were actually wading the flood - there was just water everywhere I looked. Yes, it's shocking, but most of all, kadiri. 


I came to class without sleep (the reason will be discussed at a later blog post as I want this to be my week's highlight) and still ever hopeful that things will turn out better despite the irritation that's already welling up inside me. And you know what, despite the fact that for the first time, I crossed Manila's flood water, almost got stranded while going home; and all the hassle this typhoon/LPA brings, I'm still amazed as to how this day turned out to be.

Photo courtesy of Yen. :))

5 total strangers offered and gave me help without second thought. I didn't expect that there are still a lot of amazingly wonderful people remaining in Manila. Everyday, I'm exposed to perverts, self-centered, egocentric, and materialistic people - helping is at the bottom of their list, if not none at all. Thank you random stranger #1 for helping me cross City hall just so I won't get immersed in flood water; stranger #2 for being a great barker and finding a big stone for me just so I can ride the jeepney to school without having to immerse my feet in the water; stranger #3 for being the best jeepney driver ever by really stopping over at PLM's entrance so we (your passengers) won't have to walk by the flood just to get to school; stranger #4 for fetching me a cab when I got stranded - without you, I wouldn't really have gone home; stranger #5 for being a kind driver and not asking for too much money in return of your services. Again, I am more indebted to you all. Thank you and may God bless you and your family more today and the days to come. :)

This July: Don't you worry...♥

...because even if life offers problems difficult to handle than it seem;
...because even if sometimes we rarely find time to be at peace even with our own selves;
...because even if we encounter people highly different from ourselves;
...because even if stressors in life are everywhere;
...because even if delegated tasks are more than what your two hands can bear;
...because even if we don't get to have everything in life;
...because even if we don't get to be always with the people we love;
...because even if we don't always get what we want;
...because even if it's too difficult to be thankful and grateful for blessings;
...because even if life places you in roads where optimism is too difficult to find;
...because even if we often fail;
...because even if others look down on us;
...because even if frustrations get the best of us;
...and because even if no one understands exactly the difficult shit we're at...

...as Bob Marley puts it, "every little thing's gonna be alright"

...and because you're the only one with the capability to actually ruin or make your day. ♥

On being sad

Sadness is one of the emotions I let myself get consumed in (at times I admit, too much than it should). It's not a very good habit, but I'm trying (my best) to break it now. Sometimes, though, there are instances that just can't make me let go as if all the bad memories that comes along with it drown my whole being. I'm trying, I really am. This is some kind of a rehab for me so please, I'm begging you, don't make me relapse. I don't want to be in that place again. I want to be happy, if not happier - I deserve to be.