Breather

Life hits us in the most unlikely time and places.

I had an epiphany awhile ago. Actually, I've been meaning to have one (as if I can force it out of happening) since last Friday. I kept trying to find answers to questions I've had for the longest time - keys to problems and just all I'm going through right now. I even found myself looking out the buses and jeepney windows I've been riding on the whole time I was on vacation but yes, none came. Until, awhile ago, as I was en route Cavite, everything started to become clear. I don't know why God has chosen to give me those realizations while I was on a public van, trying to stretch the last few minutes of my 'vacay'. But anyhow, I felt as if a big burden was lifted from my chest. I somehow felt renewed and light. I know I'm not making any sense to any of you reading this, but that's just how I feel even up to now.

I feel I can take on anything again.

It's a nice feeling to have my strength back. After the past few weeks, I didn't know I still have it. I was ready to give it all up. Until awhile ago, I realized, that the world is full of possibilities and I still have a lot to offer it despite my failures, shortcomings and tragedies. Amazingly, I was finally able to visualize concrete plans to embark on had my initial plans don't push through. A few weeks to months back, all I see is a dark blur for my future. Imagine the horror it gave the li'l miss planner me.

Thank You Lord for the visions. That's all I really need right now.

I take that back. Well maybe I will also be needing these in the next coming days:
☑ New Hair-do
☑ New blog (yep, you heard that one right. In the next couple of weeks, my followers will get a personal email on my new blog ☺)
☑ More relaxing vacation
☑ More books to read
☑ Healing
☑ Acceptance
☑ New plane to take

All in all, the past couple of days has been wonderful and amazing. Thank you, Bicol. ♥

Taken from the amazing Bulusan Lake. And yes,
the whole while I was there, I can't help
but think of our travel plans.

Ang Pag-Iiibig kong Ito, Luha ang Tanging Nakamit Buhat Sa'yooo

Gustuhin ko mang ibahagi sa inyong lahat ang aking mga karanasan nitong nakaraang weekend, na talaga namang nagpakumpleto sa (tingin kong) malungkot at platonic kong buhay, eh sadyang hindi ko pa talaga magawa. Gusto ko kapag naidetalye ko na ang mga bagay-bagay, kumpleto, walang kulang, at panay labis na ekspresyon lamang para naman maramdaman niyo talaga ang aking pagkamangha at pagkahumaling sa lugar na iyon. I want to justify its grandness, kung baga. Dahil diyan, ibubuhos ko na lang muna ang spot na ito sa isang bagay na nagpapabigat sa dibdib ko makailang araw na rin naman.


DISCLAIMER: Ito ay pawang kathang-isip lamang. Kung ang mga karakter, sitwasyon at lugar ay nahuhugis sa mga kakilala o naranasan ninyong mga bagay, pasintabi na lamang.


I am a very emotional and emphatic person. I easily absorb whatever other people are feeling. Sometimes it's very helpful, at most times it isn't. I even remember one time when I pleaded friends to stop first seeking a confidant in me just because I can no longer concentrate in my own life and feelings. It almost felt like I'm already living their lives for them - their emotions controlling the whole of me. It was bad. I hated those times. It didn't helped me in any way either. My life became a mess along with them. So now, I am trying my hardest not to be too emphatic, too moved and affected with other people. But, I just have to make an exception with this one. I have always had a soft spot for goodbyes.


Nothing beats the loneliness a long-distance-relationship brings. I should know for, my partner and I are on that exact situation, but being provinces apart is different from being countries apart. Just the thought of meeting with your other half on a monthly basis is unbearable. What more if you are totally unable to whenever, right?


Recently I found out that a friend had to totally separate with a loved one because of the difficult situation an LDR brings. I do believe that parting with someone even if both of you still love each other is the most difficult break-up there is. I just couldn't help but cry for them - let those unwelcome tears roll for them since they cannot for themselves for as you may have guessed, they are still enjoying each and every moment they're together. So here's a song for you guys and everyone else suffering the same plot (as I am not in the position to spill each and every detail):

DISTANCE AND TIME

by Alicia Keys

You are always on my mind 

all I do is count the days 

where are you now? 

I know I never let you down 

I will never go away 

I really wish that you'd stay but what can we do 

all the days that you've been gone I dreamed about you 

and I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home 

No matter how far you are 
no matter how long it takes him 

through distance and time 

I'll be waiting 

and if you have to walk a million miles 

I'll wait a million days to see you smile 

distance and time, I'll be waiting 

distance and time, I'll be waiting 

will you take a train, to meet me where I am 

are you on your way? 

I will never do anything to hurt you 

I'll never live without you 

I really wish that you would stay but what can we do 

All the days that you've been gone I dreamed about you 

and I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home

Now you know why I'm not such a fan of Love Stories be it on film or in writing. I just cry my eyes out every time; spend lots of hours thinking about the manipulated reality created in it. It is always difficult to detach myself in any situation I'm watching or hearing, thus affecting my own emotions. Weird, I know. But sometimes, it helps. I just can't pinpoint now how.


So, friends, let's just watch some Rambo now, shall we?